Aaron called yesterday to hear how I was doing and to remind me that the church has been praying for me. Even if I can’t attend vespers as often as I would like to, it’s nice to still be connected in spirit. But, his closing words caught me off guard. He said, Peace to you, Abigail.
Those four words mean so much to me, especially after this week. I’m reminded again and again of the Lord’s promise:
Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled; neither let it be afraid. (John 14:27)
Despite all the chaos, all the phone calls, all the uncertainty, there’s been this underlying peace that I’ve been feeling all along. As doors are closed and opened, deep in my heart, I see God’s hand at work in my life.
I’m so grateful for how far the Lord’s brought me. Several years ago before I began therapy in earnest and realized that things really could be different, I just didn’t feel anything. Love. Anger. Grief. Disappointment. Exhilaration. None of them. Part of me was buried in depression. But another part of me believed that good Christians didn’t have emotions; they were steadfast and never let emotions govern their activities. As I look back, my heart is full. As I’ve become more open to God opening up the depths of my heart, I’ve begun to experience all kinds of feelings, including the blessing of His peace. I’m not afraid of feeling any more; I know that He’s my Savior and He keeps watch over me. Through His life and His work in my being, His peace will strengthen me to endure.
May the peace of Christ be with you today.