Reading Sophie’s update, I realized that our medical journeys are very similar. Sure, we’re about five years apart. Sure, we live in different countries. There are nitpicky differences. But the bottom line is that there are a lot of similarities, and I’m pretty sure we can learn a lot from each other.
See for yourself and tell me what you think:
I’m in the same place as Sophie with regard to CBT where I’ve already done everything that you’re supposed to do with regard to chronic pain management. Like her, I’ve been to two sessions and have been really frustrated with the lack of progress that’s being made.
I joke with my doctors a lot about a “magic wand” cure. What I tell people is that no one wants a magic wand cure as much as I do. And given how much certain doctors are invested in my case, if they stumble across one, they will exercise it. And if the cure comes out of the sky, we will very quickly switch gears and move in that direction. However, we’re focused now on coping with the existing symptoms and living with the reality that I’ll probably be living with this condition for the rest of my life and even the possibility that the condition itself is cumulative.
I was just thinking today that I need to call my gastroenterologist Dr. Leo and discuss the issue that I have about eating. The thought of having an eating disorder is really scary to me (as if I haven’t already jumped the hurdles of being labeled with a ton of other things!) but if Sophie can do it, I suppose I can do it too!! 🙂 I know that I shouldn’t be suffering from malnutrition on top of everything else!
The future is really scary. Especially if you’re in school. Especially if doing everything right doesn’t lead anywhere. Especially if everyone around you doesn’t have to deal with ANY of this at all.
Two things have helped me through all of this:
1) Focusing a little bit on the present. I do know that I have today and this moment. So I want to make this moment count. Maybe, at some point, they’ll all add up. But if nothing else, I won’t reach the end of my life still waiting for my life to begin.
2) Friends. It helps a lot to have other people to lean on. Friendly faces count as well. Somehow having friends can get you through another day. Making friends with health care providers helps a lot as well. It makes me feel less vulnerable. Maybe they’ll slay the dragon if he comes out from under the exam table. Or the X-ray machine. The receptionist will definitely not add to the pile of stress I already carry.
And there are the friends who drop everything to spend the night with you when you’re really depressed. The friends who will call you to make sure you’re okay because even though you said you were, they thought that you might need someone to talk to. The friends who pray for you regardless of what has happened; you’re their friend, you need prayer — it’s that simple, no judgment. And the online friends who read your blog posts and instead of rolling their eyes at another one of your ludicrous dramas, laugh with you, cry with you, and press on together with you… because that’s what friends do.
So, there it is. A little bit about my life. A little bit about what I’m thinking about these days. A little bit about why I write about the things I write about. (Ever wonder why friends & medical folks are center stage? Now you know.)
Any suggestions from the readers? Anything you’ve always wanted to know (or are puzzled that there are TWO people in the world with the same wacky combination of life dramas)?