I got my grades and written feedback from this semester. Folks, to be honest, I’m discouraged. I thought I was doing much better.

The hardest class, the class that I assumed that I was going to fail, I got the highest grade in. The class that’s closest to my field: the professor only passed me so that I wouldn’t get kicked out of the program. She said that my work is not at the graduate level at all and that I should seriously reconsider whether or not graduate school is right for me. My third class, the one I enjoyed the most, I received a middling grade.

I don’t know what to think. If you take the second professor’s perspective, it’s frankly amazing that the mean professor thought my work was excellent, contributed to meaningful class discussion, and was really professional. If you take the perspective of the lion and company, this is yet another concrete piece of evidence that I’m in the wrong place. If you take the mean professor‘s perspective, I’m not sure what you get.

I don’t know what to think. I poured my heart and soul into this semester. I pushed myself harder than I feel I should have given my health. I did more than I even thought was possible.

Now what?

Genuinely discouraged & frustrated,
Abigail

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3 thoughts on “Discouraged

  1. Follow your heart and what you want to do. One professor’s opinion is not “law”. And that class and semester is OVER. Its a clean slate in 2013-and while she might have SAID she passed you just so you wouldn’t get kicked out-she DID pass you and that is what matters. Don’t let it discourage you. If you truly are doing what YOU want to do (not what is “expected of you”) then use that professors words as motivation to prove her wrong next semester-even if you aren’t taking her class, you will know. You can do it:)

  2. Hey, I think Amelia has it. You have thought about this so many times, and fought through it so many times, and every time it comes back to “no, but I’m going to do it anyway” You got a really, really good grade, and then an average one and a bad one. That averages out as “good enough to do it” 😉 I always beat myself up when I didn’t get perfect or fantastic grades – the truth is that good enough is good enough, and the opinion of one professor who only saw the worst of what you achieved doesn’t change that.
    I think you are doing AMAZINGLY well, especially considering how ill you have been. Take on board anything you do need to improve, but keep fighting x

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