I’ve concluded that there is a purpose to exam room gowns being huge. Sometimes, doctors want to be able to put their stethoscope on your skin. If they can sneak the scope under the gown without totally exposing everything, they like to. I’ve also seen techs take advantage of all that extra cloth to keep you covered while they’re doing an ultrasound. (Don’t believe what they show you on TV. They have to dim the lights to do an ultrasound anyways.)

So it makes sense that the gowns are kind of big. But I have a problem with how insanely big Dr. Mark’s gowns are. They are seriously big enough to fit three of me inside and still have space for ‘scopes on skin. I do not exaggerate. What does this mean? It means that the following things have happened to me:

1) I’ve been trapped in an exam room with the lights off because the motion sensor couldn’t detect me in the XXXXL exam room and I didn’t want to risk falling on the ground because of the gown.

2) It means that it’s difficult to move from exam table to the chair, which isn’t always that big of a deal except in the XXXXL room. Why? Because when Dr. Mark sits at the computer to put in orders, write notes, and look things up, it seems like I’m in a different room way behind him. (It’s not just the motion sensors that think the room is too big.)

3) It means that I’ve gotten all tangled in the fabric while being examined by Dr. Mark. Talk about awkward. Hold on. I’m laying on a bunch of extra fabric, which seemed more modest when I was sitting up. Now that he’s actually trying to examine me, all that slack in the cloth is missing. Ummmm, Dr. Mark, can you take a step back and maybe look at the ceiling while I get myself untangled from this gown?? Like I said, not awkward at all.

Another day in the life,
Abigail

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