the rest of that ER story

I realize that I left you hanging with that last post. I guess that’s what happens when you write blog posts at 4 am. Short Story: I’m fine. Long story:…

I haven’t been sleeping very well because I’ve been a lot of pain. (I guess so much for telling the doctors that I’d been in much less pain.) Anyhow, I woke up because I really couldn’t sleep, and I was in a really bad mood. I couldn’t decide if I was just hungry or actually in pain, so I tried eating some stuff which made things worse. In debating over whether or not to go to the ER, things got WAY worse. So I wrote a note to the family, put it on my bedroom door, and grabbed some stuff & Molly and headed to the ER. Fortunately, I’d done my research before and figured out which ER made the most sense for me. (There are three ERs that are basically the same distance from my house.) That was about 3:15 am.

The whole trip was kind of surreal. I was SO exhausted that I wasn’t thinking clearly most of the time, but I was feeling bad enough to know that I couldn’t leave. I spent at least two hours in the waiting room with a young couple and their 14 month old daughter. She was really cute, and we managed to lean on each other a little bit emotionally, so that was nice. Both the dad and I had a lot of abdominal pain but were trying to be really saintly about it. (Not sure how much we succeeded on that point.) So I was grateful for the company, and Molly made a new friend.

I would have to say that it was the one time in my life that I was jealous of someone with appendicitis and was heading to emergency surgery. It sounds bad, but I saw the dad in the hallway right when he was getting diagnosed (and then word travels around the ER pretty easily since there aren’t exactly real walls.) I felt bad for him and for what they were going through and was praying for them and everything. I was just jealous of the fact that his middle-of-the-night ER trip was totally justified, that he had an answer, and that he was given a solution. Unfortunately, I had none of those.

They were able to confirm that I do not have appendicitis nor an infection nor anything else life threatening. It wasn’t even immediately obvious if it justified an ER visit anyways. It could have been an entire waste of $700 and a whole bunch of “sleep”. But talking it over with Alana, I realized that there were some serious red flags. Like I measured my heartrate with my phone app and it was 136 beats/minute. (My resting heart rate is generally under 70 bpm.) I was so scared and so tense because of the pain that I was having a hard time breathing. So perhaps even if the ER doctor was confused why I went in, I think it’s a good thing that I got things checked out and that I got a few things ruled out right away. Otherwise, this girl who has to take care of herself all the time would have maxed out capacity-wise.

So yeah, I didn’t get back to my house until 9 am. And I taught two classes and tutored for an hour all after that.

I’m actually still up and down as far as pain is concerned. Dr. Leo has me on some formula that’s helped some when eating is just a nightmare. And I’ve been trying to rest a lot even when I’m not tired because I know my body is in mega temper tantrum mode still. I’ve been listening to this song (above) over and over again when I can’t fall asleep at night. I reminds me of great childhood memories, and it helps with the not freaking out & actually breathing. And I try to remember that my body tends to throw fits when it’s thrown new things. So I’m trying to take it all in stride.

Just another day in the life,

All quiet on the western front…

I’ve been pretty quiet here mostly because things have been looking up. I’ve been feeling better (in general) and have been working a lot. Here are a few updates.
– I witness the marriage of aaron and his beautiful wife ealier this month. It was a surreal experience, not mwrely aeeing all my friends again and seeing aaron marry my housemate, but even more seeing the work of God in his life.
– our little community also had another wedding that same weekend, so I also got to be a part of that which was pretty awesome and gave me more time to spend with my friends.
– I started a new job this week. I’m actually a (part-time) faculty member at a local university, which is pretty awesome! Now if lectures could just prepare themselves and I could figure out how to mute the ravenous lion in my head, we’d be headed to even greater success.
– I got to visit both Dr. Leo and Dr. Samuel this month. Both of those visits were extremely encouraging. We reflected over how much has changed in the past three years and they both remarked that they were so proud of what I’ve been able to accomplish in the past year: trying new activities, getting a job in my field, and beginning the path of healing with my family. They also see me as so much more self-confident and mature. That was extremely encouraging because it’s easy to lose sight of the big picture when you’re to busy living ordinary life!
– my pharmacist (who is also awesome) is really excited that I’m a professor now. He said that seems like just the perfect fit for me (which is cool). Last time I saw him, he said, “go get ’em tiger.”

Just another day in the life

The downside to ask this awesomeness is that I’m writing this while sitting in the ER waiting room with massive abdominal pain hoping that someone will have the answer. Oh the life of us chronic illness citizens.