I have this problem: I keep getting kicked out of doctor’s offices. They tell me that either I’m perfectly healthy or they don’t know how to help me. Or, there are some who don’t have the time or patience to help me. And it’s frustrating. It costs a lot of money and a lot of spoons to go to the doctor. And I’ve reached a pretty intense burnout. I do have a physical illness that has a huge impact on my life. Why won’t anyone take the time to understand and figure it out???

Today I found part of the answer. I was tutoring a student on the graphs of trignometric functions and she just was not getting it. No matter how many times I explained it, how many different ways I tried to put it, or how many examples we went through, she was just as confused as ever. And I found myself thinking, Could she just go away already?? If she left the tutoring room, I could help someone else. I could actually be accomplishing something. And I wouldn’t be banging my head against the wall over and over again. Could she just leave already or get un-dumber or something????

And I realized that I was making the same mistake that I was critiquing the doctors for. I wanted to create an excuse to get rid of this student. Either she just didn’t have a problem any more or I was better off investing my time in someone else because I didn’t know how to help her. And the thing is that I excused myself by making it about me and maximizing my potential. Or, she’s better off with someone else. Or, she’s never going to get help so I might as well move on.

And there it is. I made the same error as the doctors. And the ravenous lion actually.

I don’t know how to change my attitude. I know I’m working on my patience. But it was eye-opening to be on the other side of the issue.

Still a lot to learn,
Abigail

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